qualtagh

Lyrics Explanation Writing March 26/27. You can read below to see earlier versions, and a few poems I brought to the project as I wrote the second half. Please be aware that I am writing at a very different point, and so my explanations are not the same things I thought as I was writing, but more like trying to transcribe the meaning for another person. So, the first half was originally written in October & November 2023 for my 1180 final project. A main recording of Brenin was recorded December 2024, with the first sung part having only a line changed sometime earlier that semester. Beforehand, I had known the piece would be two parts, Index & Enchiridion. In Spring 2025, Enchiridion was written with the first two lines coming from an initial poem for Verst written likely in October 2024, and the larger part of it from a poem written in November 2024. This note was last edited May 8, 2023 1180: index :: for abc, pf, egtr, db, & sound proj. (from qualtagh :: for the jd fuller electroacoustic doomjazz ensemble) Then I made the piece in 1180. I started with the first page & wrote the chords on my couch, singing along in two sessions in October & November. I was having quite a few panic attacks, and actually in the first half, I had bought two vapes with the idea being I’d have one for each month, and had hit the November one. I never went to that thursday dinner, but it would have been with my Dad’s cousin who lives in Denton. I was taking Linear Algebra and was up late consistently doing these long packets, I quite literally saw a 1, 2, 3-7, 31, and then 1. ‘I focus my sight, and with dry eyes’ used to be ‘i don’t cry & i focus my sight’ , really just diving into the music. I was also spending many nights up late working on compositions for the class like this one, but in my first two years of college I would stay up late with a quite high frequency. In Sophomore year as well, I was part of a collective called Lowkist, and so the idea here is that I’m saying Low, kissed at night- I would spend many nights up late to talk to people, just getting to know them, with a white zero sugar monster likely. Originally, this section was Low, kissed @ night, I look at my dear friend’s rocks I find, 6/4 patterns, fives, quintets for four people & talks about dead ends, cycles & feedback for tea cups [ orange ] Enchiridions for cashback & handing headphones to my future self- help for my muscles, flat tires & extensions of Mercury, Titan It changed to where Lowkists at night have lead me look at distraught docks I find patterns, fives, dead end cycles, & feedback for my future self- help for my muscles, flat tires & extensions of Mercury and Titan These times up late, filling in some index, was like seeing my friend’s rocks. I used “my dear friend” twice in this piece, and I know that i wanted its meaning to encompass many people. In these rocks, in others, I found 6/4 patterns, mostly related to being around so many music people, in High school I wrote maybe one thing in 6/8, maybe one thing in 3/4, mostly 4/4, or not notated and/or ametric. I was thinking a lot about composition, hence quintets for four people, and these interesting ideas- could also have been a reference to the characters. The other list items are quite self-explanatory, feedback being a trade for tea cups (getting coffee w people).. At that point, I had found Enchiridion as a word on the Phrontistery, where I got many of the words in December 2022 that I used to make this album including ‘Qualtagh’, ‘Verst’, ‘Recit’, ‘Xeric’, ‘Mesic’, ‘Alkyd’, ‘Telos’ & Enchiridion, which has an empty page in the same notebook I wrote this first half of the poem in, and it was going to be a solo piece written by Brae Woods for amplified bass clarinet. I did have Kyle in mind. An enchiridion being a handbook, and I was thinking of it like a book full of things, and the idea is that this could have rewards for me musically, as I hand things to my future self. Still playing into the theme of self-collaboration over long periods of time, but here with the mixing & recording I’ve done and continue to do. This can bring help for my muscles, for the parts of me that are tense for work, to the parts of life like flat tires, slowing you down- usually when you need it most- and, most of all, I find extensions of Mercury, Titan. This is a reference to my characters YS (from Mercury) & SD, DW, & FD (from Titan)- now this could mean in my own life I find ways to extend my characters, but I think it is more like seeing my characters in other people, which has allowed me to better listen in & accept. Still, it relates to increasing these parts of me. My hands find Augmented tensions my spine can’t stand and my plans change with every page I rip out for no reason; but the trees, before fall, have agreed to re-teach me how to breathe in Now, this is like overlapping double entendres. My work can create strange tension in my life that the structures in me cannot stand. But, also that my hands can have tensions, like an augmented chord —and— my spine cannot stand up. Originally, I was going to have Luke tear a page out, but it didn’t end up happening, I really did feel that way, that my plans were changing so often. This last line was added in fall 2024, originally “but the trees, singing, teach me how to breathe in”, and I feel that this is true. I spent a lot of time in Spring 2024 sitting near trees, breathing, and so I felt & continue to feel great appreciation for them, for, as stable creatures breathing with us, they are so important. The line changed, as I have added this recursive re-doing aspect theme to the album, but I wasn’t thinking about that when I wrote the line. Now, November’s Air becomes October’s [ 2 3 1 1 4 ] Because I’m taking so many deep breaths, [ 4 5 9 0 3 ] Fifteen inhales & cent’ries compressed [ 1 0 4 2 6 ] My next entry needs your help, my dear friend [ 8 1 3 2 2 ] Do you know the words? I’ve torn the page and lost the text [ 7 0 1 5 9 ] & I know what is left, to do, but I’m still (quite) confused on The exit, the complexities of Windex and hints at the intersection of sixteen bones that can show my lungs to the sky [ ] Als je notes heb gemaakt, misschien mijn fears zijn gek And I can take een beetje less breaths.. Even.. Even een rest … even I wrote this in I believe, late October 2023. I remember I was sitting under the college of music entrance bridge walkway when I thought it, and I must’ve written the rest of the poem soon after. Taking in so many inhalations, & holding it in for even longer- my next entry into the index needs assistance. For the duration of this section in English, I’m asking a friend for their notes, which is most easily understood like notes for a class, but originally it had a pun as music notes, as I am quite confident but not sure on certain details, or how some things work, especially when they’re already nuanced. The last line in English line changed to ‘sixteen bones that can show my lungs to the sky’ from ‘sixteen tones I’ve never known’, I assume because I felt that the idea that I didn’t know the sixteen tones (communicative tones & music notes) was just not true, and so now, I’m saying that I’m confused on my insides, as they show my lungs to the sky. Here, the meaning is ‘ if you took notes, maybe my fears are crazy and I can take a few less breaths, for a moment, rest… ‘ here, it’s that I need to sleep. Really. This rest is long term too, as I really needed it. Because others have taken notes, have written it down, it’s okay if I forget it, or if I don’t know, so I can rest. Now, Enchiridion, which has an important sample of Chapter Six by Kendrick Lamar. This song was my alarm in Fall 2024 for a long time. And so it feels only right that it should be the first-waking moment- not the first moment awake, the first attempt at waking. Most of enchiridion is from a pseudo-translation/recreation of the Lord’s Prayer that I made on November 21st, 2024. November 19, 20, & 21 have been special days for me for a while, since 2019, it was a real turnaround point in my life at the time. On this day, I know that before class, I was walking from my car & reading Prayer Of The Cosmos, which explains the many other possible interpretations of the Lords Prayer in Aramaic. I strayed quite far from it, but it is still the main influence. However, first, we’ll talk about the lead into it I wrote this semester, with its first line from an initial poem for Verst. . . . Hmm In the shade, of the spot I left, as I kept, going & low To loosen the counterclockwise fog To tone for a stumbling cold To try to fall all the depth down where til it's done, i'll take another go at it where til it's unconnected, i'll crave the colors for it to feel the ground it's all the same quarters anyway but i knew you'd wish it different so i left it the same as when you left ‘In the shade of, the spot I left’ , some place I had left once has continued to give me shade. Part of this is just in relation to getting up from meditation. as I begin a new page I address it to you, and fill it to the brim with fear & written instruction of our old ways as I begin a new page is actually a reference to Incense for Lost Maps At the anniversary of a glisten, As I begin a new day, I light incense for lost maps – Here, it’s a new page. And it is addressed to my future and past self. The written instructions of our old ways could be a nod to the Old Testament, however, it is more likely about notation, journaling, & projects like this, where I work with the past. Filled to the brim would not have been said if not for Hope-Regen : I am filled to the brim with particles, parasites, & terror And so many more than just the thirteen that I let my sister see I need to release this or I won’t be able to breathe So, off Bonnie Brae, I pray, my waking half, you look up from the words you wrote To see about a billion birds, so tomorrow you will not remember but Know- Bonnie Brae being the street I’m living off of in Denton, meaning pleasant hill, has been wonderful. It’s aptly named. At this point, Sassy’s character is speaking to Luke’s. I am saying to myself, I am saying to the part of me that has gone to sleep (Luke will have just slept), that there is some through-line of my being from my own past actions in writing. Here, it’s important that I mention that I was reading the Bible in September 2024 sitting on grass off Bonnie Brae & University, next to the DATCU. I read Matthew 6:26 before looking up to see a huge amount of birds- I wrote the following when I was on a rooftop & realized what Enchiridion would be : i looked up from the words to find about a billion birds on telephones across Bonnie Brae suddently i realized how many fish were in the sea And so, I ask that my waking half not remember, but know. A lot of the album looks at memory & remembering, and I feel that the knowing is more important that being able to remember the words. Internalized. So, chrome radiant gold. Read this like the lord’s prayer. The following is just one set of interpretations. Chrome, radiant gold. Shining, expensive. I am speaking to God Let the past knots, square, hold Square knots are special.. they can hold quite a bit, but can be taken apart very easily when needed. So, here, I am asking the radiant gold to let these square knots hold, or unfold, as air circulates. As we continue on. Douse each tendon with focal lenses Let my body teach me how to see, to understand Blown with glass shot with air holes I am see-through, affected by life, still breathing, For gradients of hot & cold Blaze & freeze, & warmth & shiver for everything , nothing, Your presence, without it. Lock in our mouths : ash, rock, breeze, & lake I think this is asking for an understanding from Nature, and in Simplicity I Ching as well, and then each and what they’ve represented in the album (rocks, lake) Forgotten are all ways we bleed, storm, & quiver, lost in the South Docks where sneezes try to stake a spot in Saturday’s morning alarm, which whispers : What we ditch are all of our human ways, for we are lost in the self/this journey (SD’s)/docks that are south (distraught docks mentioned earlier, and just ‘gone south’) where Sneezes (and what they represent) try to stake a spot in Saturday’s morning alarm on Saturdays, I can wake up to the sun which whispers Drop me a line to talk shop, play House in the loft, & gather today’s favorite phrase :: Which the birds will sing to you soon & so, Before you wake up, let it all go Let’s talk, let’s play, let’s do today. The birds have will sing it today So let what you do not need go. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy Index / Enchi (search it up you’ll find a snake) Enchiridion